TOP SECRET

Julian Assange got his first computer at the age of 15. With a Commodore 64 and a modem, he started to explore the cyberworld. A geek rebel with romantic ideals, he soon became one of the most accomplished computer expert in Australia. A sort of Robin Hood of the information age whose aim is to re-establish the dignity of truth. 

Assange may be referred to as the ‘Truth-Bringer’. As Prometheus stole fire from Zeus, so Assange ‘stole’ the truth from the puppet masters’ trove. If in Greek mythology the ‘fire-bringer’ was celebrated as the ‘original rebel’, in contemporary political history Assange can be considered as one of the most insurgent geek-rebels of the current digital revolution. A revolution that Karl Marx would have much enjoyed, regarding the Greek myth as truly inspirational – the foremost in the philosopher’s calendar. 

In a recent interview, speaking about the WikiLeaks’ strategy Assange summed it up as ‘courage is contagious’. He explained ‘if you demonstrate that individuals can leak something and go on to live a good life, it’s tremendously incentivizing to people ‘. If courage can be really contagious, as Assange claims, let us hope this infectious disease will spread soon and increase the likelihood of an epidemic. Do not be scared! Do not protect yourselves and your kids from the infection, rather avoid ‘anti-leak jabs’ and keep tabs on upcoming WikiLeaks revelations. If your GP is cool enough, he will reassure you that there could not be a more healthy illness than that!

Appendix: “Good Parenting Manual.  How to Raise Cool Kids”

Top tips for Parents:

                  i.       Read your kids educational bedtime stories. The Adventures of Pinocchio will help them not to tell lies;

                ii.       Teach them to express their ideas freely and tell always the truth;

              iii.       Teach them to protect the underdogs and not be scared of big fishes at school;

               iv.       Do not let your kids get the ‘anti-leak’ Vaccine, courage will make them strong and healthy;

                 v.       Let them read a bit of poetry and philosophy;

               vi.       At 14 or 15 give them an evolved version of Commodore 64 and a modem. Most importantly, trust them if they tell you they will save the world with that stuff.

If your cool kids won’t save the world, remember they will gradually change it through passion, inspiration and justice.

Dear Phone, Dear Friend

Short Message Service (SMS) is the text communication service component of phone, web or mobile systems, using standardized communication protocols that allow exchange of short text messages between fixed line or mobile phone devices.

That's what I've read googling 'Short text messages'. Sometime messaging is fun and easy, others it could be pretty cryptic. There are things that can't be 'short' but require long explanation. 

E.g. Text  1 to N., 01 November 2010 at 22:53  

"Dont know why we got so distant. I miss our endless chats over my cold coffee. See you" 

Subtext: "Why you didnt call me in the last 3 months? Still waiting for that coffee. Dint see your new painted kitchen yet! I know you're hooking up with someone. Still I wanna fuck you!"  

No reply to Text 1. 


E.g. Text 2 to N., title "Recidivism", 27 December 2010 at 22:29 

"Texted you some time ago. I assume your silence was quite eloquent. Maybe shouldnt write a second time. but I feel like I wanna wish you a nice xmas and a lucky new year"

Subtext: "You bitch!" 

Reply to Text 2, 28 December 2010 at 02:35  

"Not really i felt like your text wasn't really meant to be answered, more like an observation than a question. but silence doesn't mean i didn't want to talk to you, just that if you want to do stuff with me i think you should ask straight out and then i can reply. merry xmas and new year, guessing you are in Italy. hope it's nice xx". 

Subtext: "Jerk off!" 

No reply to reply to Text 2. I've learnt I should ask things straight out though. 

Remember your phone is not your friend. It can't fix you up. More importantly, it can't translate your real wishes or feelings. If you're not good with words, just leave a message after the beep!

First message of the day from R., 17 January 2011 at 08:49

"Good morning, what a lovely rainy english day. Can you believe i'm working in a garden today?!I hope all well. Would you like to meet up, finally, for that coffee? How about wednesday? Or thursday?"

Immanuel Kant vs My Granny: 0-1

I’ve spent most of my life at my grandmother’s house. Once I asked her of those doctors that save people’s life, how they could do such a thing. “It’s not easy to save someone else’s life, isn’t it?” She told me that to be a good doctor one has to study for years, six even ten. “Anyway, that doesn’t make you a good doctor”, she said. “You have to learn by reading books, but you have to learn by doing as well.” Theory and practice go together. I didn’t become a doctor. The idea of saving other people’s lives seemed to me too demanding. I now read a bit of political philosophy. It was real fun to read Kant. To be honest, I didn’t really read Kant, just a few pages. That is what I have read: ‘there are doctors […] who did well during their schooling but who do not know how to act when asked to give advice’. Kant wrote this in 1793 in response to Professor Garve, who criticized him because he wasn’t  paying enough attention to the practice,[1]. Kant was sure that there is always a gap between theory and practice, and so am I. But if one wants to be a good doctor he needs both, I guess. If you can’t distinguish between a heart and a nose, you could confuse a heart murmur for a sneeze. That’s not professional! It’d be a mess if you read that the heart is on the right side, but it turns out that it actually is on the other side of the chest. I guess it’s pretty much the same with political philosophy. I don’t want to say that Kant was wrong. I’d not dare! But I really think my granny was right.

---

[1] I. Kant, On the Common Saying: ‘This May be True in Theory, But it Does Not Apply in Practice’, tr. H. B. Nisbet, in Hans Reiss (ed.), Kant: Political Writings (Cambridge, 1970), pp. 61-92. 

W.I.K.I : What I Know Is ... Already Well Known

WikiLeaks is a non-profit media organisation which aims to bring to light secret information about governments and corporations. Founded three years ago by the journalist Julian Assange along with a group of like-mindend activists and computer experts, in these days it's focusing attention on politicians' misbehaviour and dark side. Allegations that can change the entire geopolitical equilibrium. Some 'deep throats' report that Putin and Berlusconi  - well-known for starting their political career as a duo on cruise ships - put private interests and fun before statecraft. Their private parties are all about money and women. Wild dinner parties where escorts and underage girls seem to be their most favourite dessert. The French Prime Minister's been at the centre of burning allegations as well. As leaked diplomatic cables have claimed, Sarkozy is a short-tempered, mercurial and grumpy man who acts like a monarch. Other shocking disclosures are on their way from the WikiLeaks trove. Something about Carla Bruni and again Hillary Clinton. Maybe that Carla Bruni is a funcking cunt who sings like a dying cat? Or that Hillary Clinton prefers sexual penetration to oral sex while her husband goes crazy for fellatio queens? Whether you're a wiki-agnostic or a wiki-believer, I'm sure you can't try not to show incredulity for such indiscretions. 

The would-be sneezer: a Modern Spartacus?

Sneezing activates the same parts of the brain as an orgasm. It gives pleasure when it's fully consummated. Unfortunately frustration is around the corner. An incomplete sneeze triggers a feeling of non-consummation which - as well as sexual dissatisfaction - can lead to physio-psychological disorders. If in the sexual sphere auto-erotism and sex toys have saved generations of unsatisfied and irritable women, would-be sneezers await answers from scientists and sociotherapists yet. How can their pain be relieved? While the scientific community is dealing with the 'incomplete sneeze' problem, other social and political factors are affecting the life of our 'ah ah ah without choo' peers. Unemployment, precarious work, credit crunch, the Conservatives&LiberalDemocrats coalition and Cheryl Cole's new hair dye make things even worse.  A new movement of unsatisfied sneezers was established recently in Newport thanks to the support of the local Union of Mineworkers. The movement is growing and is likely to spread like wildfire in the short term. 

Sneezers of the world, unite! Hoist your tissue and free yourself! 

Sing a Better Song

Never thought of myself as a dancer, but I found out I'm rather good. Especially when I'm touched. Still working on the singing though. Been told I sing atrociously. Drug or alcohol don't help. But I don't give up and keep practising. Every day. No result so far. Should I focus on other aspects besides the implementation of my vocal cords' strength? Perhaps it'd be much easier if I were a young and attractive Liverpudlian working class hairdresser who decides to find herself by taking an Open University Course. Although I'm sure the discovery of English poetry and literature could help me in not getting pregnant, I doubt it could be of any help with my voice. It'd be anyway unnecessary being a male and therefore biologically unable to get pregnant. And already well-educated too. Shit! There's no way out. I can't sing a better song. Not today.